


someone outtimed  my heart

by sal_paradise



Category: Doom Patrol (TV)
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Found Family, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, a mummy and his robot learn to cope
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-03
Updated: 2019-05-03
Packaged: 2020-02-16 16:57:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18695596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sal_paradise/pseuds/sal_paradise
Summary: post 1 x 11Larry and Cliff  back in the  mansion and  coming to copes  with loss. Larry got to say goodbye, Cliff  didn't... they chat  and  realize somethings about themselves along the way





	someone outtimed  my heart

**Author's Note:**

> let larry and cliff be soft and gentle with one another!  
> let the robot and mummy be happy~  
> And it's breaking wine for you  
> Hell it's only cause you're true  
> Someone outtimed my heart  
> Stopping and preaching and letting love in  
> You are my moon, you are my sun  
> Heaven knows what you are  
> Tonight the Zeroes are singing for you  
> Yes they were  
> Tonight the Zeroes were singing for you  
> Tonight the Zeroes were singing for you  
> zeroes~ david bowie

 

 

Larry had seen a lot of strange things  since living in Doom Manor. It had been quiet for  many years, just him, Rita occasionally the Chief.

 

Then Jane had arrived and Cliff after and  things changed- both were hurricanes on different levels but  even then they adapted. After all, even “freaks” needed a place to call  home. Larry’s quiet life shifted massively recently; not only was their sudo-father  figure missing- on top of wild supernatural adventures, the de-creator, the old “Doom Patrol” the uh- rat inside Cliff’s body and then  for Larry there was the dreams…

 

Dreams  of John, of his past, of being in his lover’s arms- happy, safe… normal. So very  far from here and now- God that thing inside of him had led back to the place where he had  always belonged, always meant to be, had he not been such a coward; still, as he returned home, John’s  fragile touch lingering on his arm, the gentle laugh on his mind, his breath on his neck as he held him, the solid weight of his form as he  brushed their foreheads together in longing… it was the closest he had to peace in well over half a century.

 

However, as he entered the manor he knew something was  wrong- the air was dense with tension- he froze when Rita  rounded the corner in front of him, she looked damp but otherwise okay.

 

“Rita wha-?”

Rita shook her her  head “it’s Cliff, we went  down to Florida to see his daughter  I..”

It  was rare to see the  starlet lost for words.

“Is he-?”

Rita  shook her  head again “he’s not okay Larry.”

“So he  didn’t..”

“ No Larry, he did  not.” Rita looked genuinely  sad for the Robot man “I told him she would love him anyway, but… he couldn’t.”

 

Something  tugged at Larry then as  before he knew it he found himself asking “Where’s Cliff?” Larry had never  been good at comforting; not with John or Sheryl or anyone really. Still,  if the last few days had taught him anything… it was that there was always  room to grow.

 

XXXX

 

Cliff was sitting in the  family room staring blankly at the air when Larry found him.

 

“Cliff?”

There was a moment of hesitation, then glowing  red eyes turned to his. “Hey Lar” Cliff’s voice  rumbled out. It sounded off beat, down trodden, it was full of static and grief. He held Larry’s gaze for a brief moment before  now looking at his hands as if seeing something no one else could.

 

It was then Larry noticed not only was he damp like Rita, he  was covered in a thick, smelly slime. The pilot reached out a tentative hand to wipe some off his jacket  and examine it.

“What is -?”

“Frances” Cliff cut him off. This was happening a lot  today.

“What the heck is Frances?”

“Alligator”

“Uh…”

“Giant alligator- killed Bump, took my  watch he gave Clara who gave it back to him when she was adopted.”

“Annnd?”

“He ate it when he ate Bump.”

“Sooo…”

“It’s  alligator guts, yeah.”

Larry wiped his hand on the couch “gross”

“Very.”

They  lapsed into silence part of the hardest thing with Cliff is  that he could not emote so the manor had to become good at reading his tone and body language- right now, Cliff  had drawn up his knees, hunched over and quiet. Cliff was usually the loudest person in the room, quick with a joke or  a sarcastic comment; for someone who was just a brain he was full of life.

Larry sat in  silence, wanting to reach out… but he had nothing to say.Finally, Cliff  spoke the silence “I lost her Larry”  he managed quietly “I lost her, she’s  gone.”

Larry was quiet.

“It’s my own  fault, I should have done more, said more been less of a raging asshole-  fuck maybe… it would have been different maybe if I wasn’t such a colossal  fuck up I could actually tell her that I stopped caring for a lot in life but never ever was  one of those things her.”

Cliff shook his head in misery and something tugged Larry's heart so fiercely again that he thought the spirit inside of him was mourning too.

 _“it’s okay pal._  Larry thought  as he stroked his chest, as Larry Trainor’s hand  made itself busy and as it often did these days found  Cliff’s and squeezed the metal hand hard even though he knew Cliff couldn’t  feel it.

“Why didn’t  you say anything to her?” Larry managed.

“I fucked up her life  once, isn’t that enough?” he laughed bitterly  looking down at himself “I- I don’t want to give her  nightmares- I’m a monster, I wouldn’t want to see me either.”

“Cliff stop.”

Larry’s other  hand came to rest on top of his. The Robot man  stared down at where their hands met and were touching; for a moment he thought he could feel the soft  grazing touches of warm bandages.

“The chief said it  before, you’re not a monster. You;re kinda a doofus and a weirdo but a monster? Never.”

Cliff turned fully to the pilot “ you should have seen her Larry, she was  beautiful.” he all but sighed.

“ I  don’t doubt she was.”

“She looked like Kate, nothing of  her dad’s ugly mug.”

Larry laughed lit Cliff up from the inside it was  soft and gentle like Larry “Hey now. Don’t be so hard on yourself- you weren’t  half bad looking- though that hair!”

Cliff imagined Larry was raising his eyebrows at him “ It was popular at the time Lar!”

“ Sure it was.”

 

Both of them broke into laughter, Cliff’s  metallic clang  and Larry’s soft laughter mixing together into a pleasant din. As it petered off Cliff took Larry’s hand back gently in his. But the  sadness was still heavy

“  you must miss her so much.”

 

"I miss her so much - more then anything, I- I just  wanted to be what I never had and I couldn't; even do that… God.”

 

He started to rub the bandaged hand gently Larry would be lying if he said it wasn’t a pleasant feeling he  nodded in sympathy.

“Bump was  a son of a bitch but he gave her her life back.” Cliff added matter of factly.

“ Wouldn’t you do that too? Complete the  puzzle?”

 

Cliff gave a big  metallic shrug.

“ you're like the  janky puzzle piece that’s been chewed up by the dog, been missing for years, torn up, and then shows up out of  nowhere.But it still has a place to belong in the end.” the pilot  added “ even if it’s been gone for years.”

Cliff chuckled “nice analogy Larry,  I’m the janky puzzle piece in life.”  
  
“ Well you could be worse things…”

“ Yeah let’s not  go there. I’m already a brain in a tin suit.”

“ Then things  can only get better.”

Since when have you been   Mr.optimism?” Cliff managed  nudging him gently.

 

Larry sighed in  faux annoyance “ I’m not I just- don’t like seeing you this way Cliff.”

Cliff blinked. Surprised. Larry cared for him, again i he had a heart it would be trying to burst through his rib cage. It was  exhilarating and refreshing and and..

 

“ -Do you ever dream about how things used to be Larry ventured  breaking the silence.

Cliff was  brought out of his daydream briefly. “I dream of my daughter mostly I guess, of holding her  hand when she was little- now that she’s older… I’ll dream of that...  when she touched my hand for a moment in the bar I-”

“Yes Cliff?”

“ I felt alive.. I felt human, I felt real… do you  know how that feels Lar?”

Larry was silent thinking of John, sweet touches, passionate kisses eyes only for him, of being in his arms. “ I do” he managed.

“ Somedays Lar, I  just wanna go home, you know?” the Robot man sounded miserable.

“ you are home Cliff.” he  ventured “ if you really want it to be”

 

Slowly. Cautiously as if  trying no to spook a horse Larry closed his eyes and tried to focus on the voice that had been ringing inside him for years. John’s words; t _imes had changed… it was okay to open up to others- it was okay to let someone in_. Larry was slowly learning that.

Larry liked to think that  person was Cliff. He was starting to understand him and vice versa, trust  each other maybe like each other as more.

“Maybe you should  get out of that jacket, you gotta  wash it.”

 Cliff did so, sitting in his damp   shirt proclaiming some far flung band that rocked a lot harder then Larry was used to, his ripped jeans  and heavy combat boots completed the look. If Larry didn't know Cliff he would not fuck with him. But he was no mighty  predator he was a pussycat.. Larry was certain he would purr if he scratched his chin the right way.

 

Cliff  sat there, his bronze  arms gleaming in the afternoon sun, screwing his courage Larry did what he had been  denying himself for so long. _He let go_. It was a small action but he leaned into Cliff’s shoulder. He hoped what he was trying to get across was clear to Cliff.

 

The people who love us never truly let go.” Larry managed quietly trying to break the tension.

“Maybe they should. Maybe I should it's cruel of me to drag her on.”

 “Cliff” Larry leaned in further why  don’t you want to try? You’ve thrown yourself into danger since I’ve known you and this stops you- why?”

"Because I’m afraid Larry okay!?” there I said it.  I’m fucking terrified that she will never want me to be in her life, that I’am freak or I did it on purpose to fuck up any stability she has I’m afraid.. I’ll just make it worse."Cliff was on his feet, screaming and waving his arms frantically “I'm afraid, I’ll be alone. She’s the only family I have, the only thing I have of Kate. I’m afraid she’ll show me the door and I wouldn’t blame her… what am I without her?”

Larry placed a grounding hand on his shoulder “ you’re  Cliff Steele and you’re not alone.”

“ Lar- I”

“  No Cliff. We’ve spent so much time beating ourselves up and telling everyone no one should want us.”

Cliff nodded.

“ but we need each other we should be caring for each other!”

“Larry-”

“ You;re not  alone Cliff, **we’re** not alone- we have each other and Rita, Jane and Vic. I know we don’t always get along but-”

“ -that makes us family?”

“Exactly”

Cliff  was shocked  when Larry suddenly wrapped him in his arms he was plastered to Cliff’s side. It felt good, to be wanted to  be cared and he all but melted into the smaller man’s arms. God it felt so good. How long had it been? since someone touched him without fear or loathing? or took a step back  putting distance between them when Cliff just wanted to touch. to feel, like he once did.

“I know I’m not … the  family you made Cliff but we  care for you, I care for you. “

“Larry…”

You’re my  family Cliff, I  wouldn’t know where I’d be without you. Whatever happens we’ll face it together.”

Cliff felt so wanted so full of emotion, all he could do was  bury his face in the pilots shoulder and try to feel the soft feel of his jacket and breath him in.

“ thank you” he mumbled.

Maybe Larry was right, maybe he was  home.

**Author's Note:**

> come visit my pit to see my stupid musings life- on- the-geek- side on the tumblr


End file.
